Welcome to the newest edition of Horror Gaming and we take a look at a old Mario 64 CP. Now, I know it's been a while since I have written a new Horror Gaming article. With the new Modern Gaming, Retro Arena and even Pony Central sections, this has been hard to keep up with hundreds of stories. For the article, it's no secret how crappy most Mario CPs are often written and much like the Sonic and Mega Man stories, there's no exception. It is about a man who buys a used Super Mario 64 upon seeing a pop up ad on his computer when he was on the internet. Gee I wonder where we have heard that one before... (sarcasm) Will this be the Mario CP that breaks the trend of these tales being terrible? Let's find out... The story starts out with a guy who was randomly surfing the internet. Then a pop up ad appears on his screen about a used Mario 64 cartridge in mint condition for ten dollars. The guy feeling nostalgic proceeds to buy the game despite claiming how he never trusted these ads. Seriously, I just started, and there's strike one already for the character's stupidity. I find this hilarious that now the man realizes the cartridge was a rip off as the front sticker appeared torn off with Mario crudely written on it. Let's stop here as you got to love these morons who at the start, act like complete fools. If you see an ad pop up on a computer screen from a complete unknown source, why would anyone put their information into that? Well maybe I should congratulate this moron for acting stupid at the start of the plot. Just like the last time, when I start seeing a character act like an idiot then they will be named Moron—For all intense purposes we will call him Moron #98. Of course, let's not forget that torn label with the front cover scribbled in sharpie trope. I can tell this was written years ago because back then many authors would explain it like that in their plots. At one time, they use to describe the titles of these creepy games as MaRIo and Z3LD@TW0[2]. Yeah, nothing rustles my jimmies then a scribbled single title written stupidly with no intelligence. Honestly, I can't get a break from this crap as the guy pulls another moronic move. Mario's face on the starting screen twists around in an unusually manner and static noise blares from the TV as Moron explained. If you see the game is acting in such a way that it creeps you out, why continue? Of course, just like the idiot he is, 98 boots up a new game and skips the opening of Peach. The next part, I'll admit got written decently as no music is playing at all and there weren't even Toads around inside the castle. The canvas to the Bob-omb Battle Field was white when entering a level. As mentioned, this part was actually decent as its one those slow build features in a CP. I always claim how the importance to a quality gaming CP is using a proper build which in turn creates anticipation. The empty castle with all locked doors, no music playing nor were there toads around the main hall justifies this slow build. It does create a sense of unease that something is obviously off. The story leads us to our second strike as now the guy gets suspicious and mentions something compelled him to press A. It's funny how something compelled him to do a stupid thing even though the level clearly said "Turn back." He enters the level and discovers an original model of Luigi appearing and when trying to get closer, Luigi takes off. Moron ran after him and realized the enemies and music were slowing down every time he picked up a coin. The music stops playing after getting a fifth coin as the enemies started lying down like they were dead. Before we continue, that is another example of how the writer dropped the ball on this part. The author should have written this section as a slow build instead of happening all at once. Perhaps having the enemies and music slowly glitching would've been better. Yes, the oddness between the Luigi model, music slowing down and the long line of toads in a narrow hall was there—That part of the story could've been written so much better if it means adding to the creepiness. He now discovered that at the end of the hall was a recent picture of his family. First, this guy contradicts himself and does really dumb things and now he's being stalked by a psycho programmer? At least the imagery is there as I can see a rom hacker putting this together just like in Ben Drowned. Well looks like its strike three as I'm going to stop here for a moment since the story went full stupid just now. If some of you don't know what "hyper realistic" means — it's a joke I throw around to mock the term — well bear with me because I'm going have to explain this one. Between Mario getting torn apart realistically by an evil piano and then followed by a real live image of the plumber being dead its why this is contrived writing. When CPs started back several years ago, the authors always explained the detail by using that same two worded term. They would explain it like "the blood was ultra realistic" even though the game in the plot was running on an 8 or 16-bit console. The biggest issue wasn't the fact that term didn't get used but the excessive blood and gore being thrown into the scenes. Of course, the author has to forcefully insert the Big Boo Merry go Round song backwards, I mean why? Its like the writer was trying to copy Ben Drowned that also used the Song of Healing played backwards. However, the difference is it all comes down to how you executed these moments. The Song of UnHealing happened in that story organically and was never forced on to the reader. Now, we are on the fourth strike, and the CP is sure breaking the record of how horrible these stories are written. Here's what #98 explains and he ends up getting thrown out to the same narrow hall of toads. Moron now sees an image of his family decomposing as if they were doing so for years. It's mentioned how the camera then zoomed into the painting in the same hall where the guy got a view of the castle outside. It shows the building in ruin with the sky being black and the fields on fire while evil laughter from both Bowser and the voices of children were heard. I have to question the theme as none of this is making any sense to how it's coming together. Moron buys from an unknown internet seller and the person who sold him the game got information about the buyer. The phantom seller then stalks #98 and programs the weird stuff just to scare him? Who the hell would go out of their way to do all this? I mean not even the most erratic psycho would put a lot of effort into something like stalking through a video game. I also love how children were suddenly speaking along with Bowser as if the writer was trying to make the scene creepy. Of course, #98 then claimed it was too much for his mind but something was still compelling him to continue forward. There is our fifth strike as this is the second time the author resorted to this trope. First off, nothing ever gets implied that a supernatural being like a spirit compelled him to continue. Second, how the hell does a stalker who programmed the creepy rom suddenly have omnipotent abilities to compel someone? That is how ridiculous the theme has gotten and nothing ever gets any explanation. The last part leads to a recorded breaking sixth strike as Moron after being "compelled" goes back into the painting. He explains the level nearly resembling Dire, Dire Docks but the difference is the environment was now dark. Suddenly, Unagi the Eel appears in front of him just as he turned Mario around to see the thing swallow the character whole. For the second time the author resorted to playing Big Boo Merry Go Round theme backwards during the scene. If this wasn't scary before then it does nothing for the scene especially when gore was used. It ends with Moron checking the only other save file and that the skeletons weren't from his family because they were positioned differently. The ending certainly leaves many questions unanswered since how did this "phantom seller" get images of his family so he/she could morph them to such disgusting detail. We could only assume it was done by a masterful designer using Photoshop with the images of the family found from social media. Even if this fills the logic gaps in my head canon none of the writing ever explains why things fall into place for the plot. Wow, that's literally a new record of strikes against a gaming CP as there were many cliché moments. First off, I just loved the way its starts out with a person wanting to relive their childhood from an old game. They buy the cartridge from a sinister person or place which leads to their terrible experience. I also love how original the author was being with the title by simply calling it by the game's name. These CPs are starting to become redundant by now and I don't understand why they have to recycle the same tired plot over and over again. Why do these characters act like a bunch of morons every time? I can't understand the logic in buying from a random person on the internet that uses nothing like EBay or PayPal. It's even more stupid that #98 claims he never trusts these ads but proceeds to buy from them anyway. At least the cartridge's title wasn't spelled stupidly like in those earlier based CPs. It's even laughable he at first thinks the game is glitchy when no music or certain events don't happen. If you have your suspicions that the game will lead you to a terrible experience, why continue playing then? His response was that he doesn't know why but something compelled him to continue. Like I said, the man is still a simpleton because nothing compelled him to continue. I mean no supernatural forces were implied in the story. In Mario 64: Damned (even though it was worse than this one), there was a spirit causing the problems. It's implied a hacker who stalked the guy randomly could've sent him the cartridge. His stupidity in the end is all on him and nothing was compelling the guy to smash his TV in from continuing. Oh and how could I forget the gore which hurts the story more then the player's stupidity. Whether his family is being decomposed from the image, Mario getting mauled by the Mad Piano or Luigi being hanged, this felt like it wasn't needed. Was the CP as bad as Mario 64: Damned that excessively used blood and gore? No, it was a lot better here but still that isn't necessary to use to make this creepy. The author, of course, has to insert another stupid trope of Big Boo's Merry Go Round playing in a distorted way. That happens when Mario is getting killed by the Mad Piano. I'm not sure if Ben Drowned was out by the time this got posted but it sure feels like that part got ripped off from the Song of Unhealing. Sadly, the only decent thing done was during the Luigi chase scene where the enemies and the music got slower until they just stopped. That could've been used further but slowly through the story like in Ben Drowned with things progressively worsened. That would have created anticipation for the readers and made it interesting. The last part was completely stupid as the writer left in an obvious plot hole. First, he turned the system on and off previously but later Moron couldn't shut the console down. Then again this was a terribly written story anyway as logic is never dared or allowed to ever be used in most CPs. There were no supernatural elements with any implication throughout this crappy plot. So, how could the system not allow #98 to turn the console off but then previously he could? Obviously, the author should've freshen this story out further before posting as it has many problems. It seems like Mario CPs will always be doomed as another series that is never written well. Rating: 5.2/10 Mediocre Source creepypasta.wikia.com. Super Mario 64. Anonymous. http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Super_Mario_64
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Retro Gamer has over 25 years of gaming experience and played many classics since the Golden Age. She has been an avid fan since the day the NES graced her life and changed it forever.
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