Welcome to a new edition of Horror Gaming as we take a look at another Mario Creepypasta. It’s no secret that most Mario CPs are the definition of trashy storytelling and among the worst writing. We already went over three on this site, and it’s like each one gets worse the more I review them. Those MaRIo CPs will always be a reminder of how terribly written they really come off. That brings us to the story itself titled Super Mario 64: Damned based on the famous N64’s first killer app. The title speaks for itself to how much originality was put into this, and it’s no different than the last one I went over. The theme is about a couple going to a local game store to buy a bunch of classics. However, they buy one particular copy of SM64 that the store owner claims was returned many times for strange reasons. That was how these CPs started out at the time with the exception of a couple. So, will this be the timeless classic the couple remembered? Or a terrible experience ready to claw itself out? Let’s begin… It’s like I can’t get a break from the constant mistakes these authors have in their writing. Right off the bat we come to the first strike of the story, and it’s how they wanted to relive their childhood. At the start a couple of a man and his girlfriend were talking about video games both of them played as kids. That's when the N64 came up in their discussion and several titles which made the system popular. The couple decides to make a trip to the boyfriend's uncle's store and after an hour they found Super Mario 64, the game they were looking for. The uncle mentions that this copy of SM64 was returned several times with people claiming it was evil as if developed by a psycho. The guy brushes it off as some hysterical person making excuses to not keep the game. That is the same way these old CPs always started out acting like a broken record playing on repeat. Low and behold the guy wants a game to relive his childhood, goes to a local store and gets a creepy copy. At least the uncle isn't possessed by some evil entity as it’s one of the few things this CP got right. The next thing isn’t really a strike but more of talking point about how stupid the character acted a moment ago. I love how the man brushes the uncle's explanation as some person being hysterical by making excuses. How is someone selling a game you don't like equals making excuses? It doesn't because if someone thinks the game was not good and they want to sell isn’t an excuse! Now, since the character acted stupid, I’m going call him Moron #22 for the rest of the review. Ever since Zelda 64 Beta CP, I always call these characters Moron and there is no reason for them to act this way. Probably the next decent thing is having a part where the game somehow screams when deleting file 1. It happens when Moron and his girlfriend tried this copy that very night and as they get to the menu, she starts deleting the used save files. However, when she started to remove them, the game would make screaming sounds (that's what he described it as). So, his girlfriend resets and tries to delete the file, but this happens again. Unfortunately, this is the last decent thing about the story as its downhill from here. That leads us to the second strike, and it’s the way the story jumps to the scary part without a proper build. In the last SM64 CP, everything slowly became worse despite the lack of logic. Yet, the plot takes them to the source of all the strange things with no build to it happening. Basically, they play the game and are taken to Big Boo’s Haunt with a red sky and castle like structures at the top. It didn’t stop there as the game places Mario at the top of these structures. That’s where they see a dead Mario polygon hanging with its mouth sewed shut. He then hears something run into his room upstairs while for some unknown reason #22 ignores it. Of course, the scene ends using illogical writing with Moron pulling the plug on the system only for the N64 to not shut off. We are on to the third strike because one too many is never enough for crappy writing. Shocked from this, the couple both call it a night and after calming themselves down they went to bed. However, the guy couldn't get this out of his head as to why the game was acting like that, and he thought it was hacked. Moron’s curiosity gets the better of him and sneaks out of bed as his girlfriend was asleep to play this haunted copy. If you know playing this haunted game will cause problems, why continue? The curiosity trope was even played out back then so I can’t understand why it was so hard to deviate from this. As mentioned by me many times, there are better ways to put the main character into a dire situation. Having a character like #22 say “I was curious” only makes the writing come off illogical. The fourth strike is overusing gore since these writers think it automatically makes the plot scary. Upon booting the game up, Moron tries file 3 and 4 as gore depictions of Mario are shown through videos. Then he tries file 2 and a video is being shown inside the mansion's front hall with Mario strapped to a table in the center. He then saw a Toad as well as Peach gruesomely dead as dark figure tortures Mario. None of what is explained in this part has my jimmies rustled and instead makes me eye roll at the thought. Saying it’s a campfire story is not a good excuse as a proper build to a dire situation is more important than gore. Of course, the climax gives the plot its fourth strike as the gore factor is taken to the next level. The scene had Moron outside the castle grounds with the building on fire and a black sky was before him. A trail of dead bodies from Peach and the others were on the ground gruesomely killed. He enters the castle and now is at the top of Big Boo's Haunt but only to discover a body of him sharing the same fate as Mario. Why #22 never smashes his TV in is anyone’s guess? I also would like to bring up how Moron simply ignores all the weird things while playing the game. Its like the writing never ceases to amaze me because Moron even ignores a chuckle behind him. I guess he must’ve been high as how you can ignore these things in your own home? Any sane person would have just up and left the house with their girlfriend at that point and then destroy the game later. Do you see why I call these characters Moron every time they act stupid? Just like the last SM64 CP nothing was stopping #22 from smashing his TV screen. Fortunately, it doesn’t end with the guy being dead the whole time but was able to tell his story somehow. If you think that isn’t illogical writing — many would make excuses to me about that — then I have a bridge to sell you. The story ends with #22 claiming that this creature hovered above him before he passed out. Forget about the saying of “three times a charm” as this Mario CP proves yet again how terrible these are. Its starts with the same tired characters wanted to relive their childhoods and ends with a terrible experience. The only decent writing was not using the phantom eBay seller or a possessed store clerk/owner. Even the screaming being described was a decent idea for a slow build to something bad happening when the girlfriend deleted the save files. However, by the middle part of the story, the author uses the curiosity trope to get the character into a dire situation. First off, there are many ways to get a character within these horror story into a bad spot. Why do they always have to resort to this type of trope every time? It just so played out even in horror movies as the writer could have come up with something creative. The biggest downfall of the CP is the excessive amount of gore and blood being used. Using blood and gore doesn't make this story scary at all. When done right it can add to the creepiness but if excessively used then this becomes a bad cliché. That now brings me to the last part and was the guy playing Mario 64 on the N64 or the DS remake? The way #22 describes the detail sounded like it had better graphics then the N64 could ever do. How does the Mario polygon model which had flat surfaces suddenly have more detailed features? Apparently, the author didn't take notes from Ben Drowned which used the original graphics to describe the environments. I wonder when we will come across an actual good Mario CP. Rating: 4.8/10 Terrible Source Gages-famous-creepypasta.fandom.com. Super Mario 64: Damned. Anonymous. https://gages-famous-creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/Super_Mario_64_-_Damned
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Retro Gamer has over 25 years of gaming experience and played many classics since the Golden Age. She has been an avid fan since the day the NES graced her life and changed it forever.
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