Welcome to Pony Media and as you can tell I have a brand new segment about reviewing what every Brony has been doing since 2010. In these segments, I look at MLP's media from Friendship is Magic to games based on the franchise throughout the generations. Now on to our topic, every Brony at this point knows how great Gen 4 has been for nearly a decade. However, the franchise at one time was at an all-time low and was going through its darkest period. In comparison to previous gens, Generation 3 which Hasbro used from 2003 to 2009 would release video games and even short episodic cartoons on DVD. Most of the fandom hails this as the worst gen of MLP due to its contrive plots where nothing bad happens and how its characters are presented in a stereotyped fashion. Seriously, they literally screwed up Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity in this so much that we should be thanking Lauren Faust for saving them from this crapfest. Unfortunately, I get the absolute pleasure of reviewing one of Gen 3's Shovelware titles which follows one of the episodes about the Rainbow Princess Celebration. The game was originally developed by the now-defunct THQ for PC in August 2006 and was ported a month later to the GBA. Gameplay It's a collection and a mini-game completion series which is similar to Mario Party... No, let's not even compare this abomination to Mario Party because that would still be an insult to the gaming god Miyamoto. At the start, you can choose to play the story of the Rainbow Princess episode or play the mini-games from the "story mode". Most of the objectives are basically find and collect the said item in the area and bring them to the NPCs. There is hardly any challenge as most of the mini-games that the player is forced to complete have the most simplistic difficulty. It's so easy that you can do very little and still get rewarded with a "congratulations". Its Mario is Missing all over again only it's much worse here. Just like that crappy spin-off, you have to collect three to five items to progress further. You don't just collect them but you need to find them individually when collecting five items and bring them back to the NPC each time. Even if you knew where the next item was it won't appear until you collect the one before it. What makes this even more stupid is the fact you can simply quit these mini games at any time. Okay, what is the point of completing these "challenges" when the player can simple quit these at any time? The other mini-games range from matching cards of an item to dressing up and even a "Simon's says" type game of hitting colors in a certain order. I also would love to point out how much this is actually making me think. I say this because why in the hell in the dress up game is a pony wearing a bathing suit and flip-flops as an outfit. The ponies regardless of what gen they are in will always be naked and wear outfits for special occasions. On top of that, why is there an option to put flip flops on them when they have hooves and no toes? Do you see what this "game" is doing to me, it's making me think about mundane things that shouldn't even be a thought! Then again its Gen 3 and maybe THQ shouldn't care when they are working with the worst Generation of all time. I also love how the game has to ask me twice every time I wanted to quit either the mini-games or the actual "Story Mode". Why does it need to ask me twice if I want to continue playing the worst thought up mini-games to ever be made. So, between the non-existent challenges from the mini-games and the bare bones "story mode", there is hardly any gameplay worth playing. Rating: 0.8/10 Graphics/presentation It would seem more effort went into the graphics and animation of this port rather than developing decent content. Even then the detail is just a complete mess of pixels and neon colors that I'll admit makes my eyes hurt. The backgrounds of Ponyville (unfortunately it has to exist in this crappy universe), Unicornia and the Blossom Gardens are rendered as they are from the cartoons. However, it doesn't matter whether these places in the actual cartoons looked accurate or not as it seemed like Barney and his crew decorated it themselves. Actually, now that I think about it even Barney which is for toddlers is more edger then this. That's just sad when something which is made for toddlers can make MLP look terrible. As for the detail, the graphics are choppy and have a blurry appearance to the surfaces even on the GBA's screen resolution. Way to take a terrible art style for a fantasy world only to make it even more crappy than it already was. The frame rate is also another issue as there are a lot of slowdowns, especially around the animated backgrounds. Of course, THQ wasn't going to care, I mean its Gen 3, how could they care if the game was functional or not. The presentation is as lazy as any Shovelware title out there and no effort went into the design other than a quick finish. A blurry title screen and lazily drawn graphic images of the story's events is what's presented. The sound is literally the worse thing here considering how bad the GBA's sound chip is at times. The tone for each song has this monotone and muffled sound to it that I could barely hear the beats it gave off. I would rather listen to Phantasy Star 3's soundtrack then be subjected to these terrible songs. Maybe THQ developing this as Shovelware title might've been a good thing as this probably was the studio sending Hasbro a perfect message. That was THQ telling them how crappy Gen 3 was and it's the many reasons MLP was never taken seriously during that period. They couldn't have been any more right as maybe this was the kick in the ass Hasbro needed. Too bad it would take another four years to realize that when they hired Lauren Faust to reboot MLP's Gen 4. Rating: 3.5/10 Features/Content There shouldn't be anything for me to write about as the content is nearly nonexistent. There literally is no replay value to this Shovelware in the slightest as it's just a mini-game completion. You won't find any mini-game worth trying again as regardless if you fail, you still win the game anyway. For once I can see why THQ didn't bother and usually I always rant about developers not giving us our monies worth. In the Shovelware's case, my hat is off to THQ as they get off extremely easy this time. Rating: 0.5/1.0 Final Rating One of the reasons MLP was the biggest joke at the time is because when you compare it to other fairytale stories like Kingdom Hearts, it's truly terrible. The cartoon episodes were trash and the games are even worse so much that it makes Mario is Missing look better. Aside the toy line's decent quality, the rest of its media especially the games was truly the worst part of this Gen—To make Mario is Missing look better is a new low achievement for game design. The gameplay was so simplistic with hardly any challenges that you can easily skip them by quitting at the start. It means the player can breeze through the game in under 20 minutes just by skipping the mini-games. The graphics were blurry and actually made Gen 3's art style look even worse. The presentation was awful as well with its muffled music and blurry images as even the GBA's screen resolution still made it look crappy. I dare you to try this on the Game Boy Player on Game Cube to get a better idea how bad it is. The content had absolutely no value to it unless you want to play terrible mini-games with no challenge. It was literally the worst Shovelware game I ever dared to play and it doesn't help that it's from Gen 3. Gameplay: 0.8/10 Graphics/Presentation: 3.5/10 Features/Content: 0.5/10 Final Rating: 1.7/10 Atrocious
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Retro Gamer has been an avid fan of the My Little Pony Series since the debut of Gen 4 in 2010. Whenever she isn't talking about gaming, Retro will give her thoughts on MLP and other pony themed brands.
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